All I wanted to do was to help your group catch that spider, so that your group can proceed with the research smoothly.

But I think I behaved weirdly yet again. All my efforts to improve my mannerism gone in just a few minutes.

I really don't know if we could ever be friends again, at this rate.

I had the same nightmare again, where I threw something at her out of anger.

I am really, really worried it might happen one day, and make things totally not salvage-able. And it might hint that I am starting to bear hate towards her subconsciously, but why...

I am quite sure I still care about her... so it would be weird that I hate her.

And I really don't hope the prediction comes true. The prediction that I will get over it in a year. Because I have already made it clear to myself.

That Amanda will be the last exception I make. After that, I will never allow myself to fall in love ever again.

There are some things I really don't know.

Happy Valentine's Day to all! Best wishes to all couples; hope your relationships last long. And to the singles that are finding their other half, hope you find yours soon too.

To the one I love, I know it's absolutely inappropriate to give you presents or ask for a date right now. Hopefully the Daifuku money is a good substitute. I know right now you are not in the mood for any romance, but I still wish that one day we could be together. Even if you end up with someone, I do wish you eternal happiness. And I hope by then we have become good friends again.

I am just glad that you didn't block me. Perhaps there's hope still. I must admit you are a tough one, and something must be wrong when I thought things would be easy. But I won't give up.

Why did you tell her about me secretly leaving money inside the Banana Daifuku funds box?

Now I really wonder if you told her about my background as well, and how it influenced my decisions.

Which may be why she is trying so hard to push me away.

Just this morning, I had a really scary nightmare. I dreamt that I had tried to patch things up with Amanda, only to end up having her block me on all channels of communication, Facebook, Whatsapp etc.

And before this I have been having dreams where I ended up making her cry, by doing really mean things to her. Such as insulting her, or throwing stuffs at her, for no apparent reason.

And I thinking too much? These are all outcomes that I really don't wish to end up in. I definitely don't wish to see Amanda crying from hearing my harsh words.

Sometime later in the afternoon, I did get the chance to greet her and she did greet back for once. Is it a good sign? Or is she just being polite again? That I really will not know.

All I know is there might be really limited time left. How time flies. It's already week 4 and there's only 10 weeks left to the end of this semester. Do I really need others to help mediate?

Which reminds me that something quite sad happened recently. This couple, whom most people thought were made for each other, are somehow drifting apart. While I do not really have any high opinions of the two of them, I just find it a pity the curtains might really lower on their relationship. Though they might remain friends, it might be really awkward. I really hope for the best for them though, seeing how unfortunate my own case is.

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